36 things every theatre blogger knows

One of THOSE lists:

1. There aren’t enough evenings in the week to see everything you want to see.
2. Or to review as much as you’d like to.
3. Taking notes in the dark is actually pretty difficult.
4. You spend your interval deciphering your illegible scrawl and transcribing onto your phone.
5. Actually, you do most of your writing on your phone on the way home from the theatre.
6. I say writing. It’s mostly flinging words at a screen and hoping some of them are useful.  Right now, it’s jibberish.
7. You’ve now learnt to charge your phone before you leave work.
8. You’re still writing the following morning on the way to work.
9. Probably still tweaking on your lunchbreak.
10. You know the word you want, but can Thesaurus.com find it? Can it fuck.
11. Wondering whether you should asterisk out swearing in quotes. Nah.
12. Writers block.
13. You have no idea off the top of your head what you’re seeing tomorrow night, just that you’re going to the theatre.
14. Your handbag is filled with old tickets.
15. You sometimes wonder if you should turn them into some sort of art installation.
16. A night at home to do washing and eat something nutritious seems like such a waste. Besides, you have nothing in the fridge.
17. Your life would fall apart without Google Calendar.
18. And Google Maps.
19. And Tube Assistant.
20. And Twitter.
21. Getting press invites for nights that you’re already busy.
22. Press invites being allocated to someone else.
23. Not getting a plus one.
24. Getting a plus one and then not being able to find anyone to join you at such short notice.
25. The delirious joy of your first ever press invite sent directly to YOU – usually for a fringe thing at a theatre you’ve never even heard of (and you’re pretty sure you’ve been to most of the teeny tiny venues).
26. Getting a bit ahead of yourself and emailing West End theatres for press tickets.
27. Subsequent silence.
28. Seeing something unutterably terrible and trying to find a way to slate it without being too horrible.
29. Becoming very well acquainted with M&S Food To Go/Pret A Manger and taking a picnic to eat on the tube/bus/train between work and the theatre.
30. You acquire terrible bags under your eyes from all those late nights.
31. Your brain is usually spinning right when you need to go to sleep.
32. Waking up at 3am with a sudden flash of inspiration for how to phrase that sentence or some devilishly witty analogy.
33. Your stats page. While it’s reassuring to know that your readership extends beyond your parents, you’re bemused as to why a 3 month old review is being read by someone in Azerbaijan.
34. Running into fellow bloggers in the foyer on press nights.
35. You end up seeing them more than your actual friends – at least they understand your incurable theatre addiction.
36. Plucking up the courage to ask an emerging company for a press ticket in exchange for a review (don’t ask, don’t get, right?) and getting a reply asking whether you’d like a pair.

Please feel free to add more in the comments below!


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